8.29.2013

How do you choose joy?

No really...how do YOU choose J - O - Y?  :)

Recently, I was part of a group devotion on joy.  There was lots of talking about how joy is different than happiness...
Joy is deeper than happiness, more abundant than pleasures, more exciting than thrills, and richer than excitement...it's long-lasting, never-failing, deeply rooted in our hearts and where there is joy...there is also peace.  (As someone who is anxiety prone, just typing and reading the word peace...makes the tightness in my chest subside...just a little...for just a moment. ;) )

Joy is a condition and attitude of the heart...it's much more than a feeling which is fleeting, flaky, unreliable, and non-committal (feelings come and go).

Where does this unending, unshakable supply of joy come from?  All that comes to mind is that childhood song, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart", "where?", "down in my heart to stay!"

I confess, I have a lot of work to do before I could say that I am a habitual chooser of joy.  But I know that continually pursuing Christ and surrendering my burdens and worries to him is the only way.  Further it's easy enough to be joyful during the happy, trial-free chapters of life...but it takes a great deal more faith to trust Him during the difficult and dark times...when you feel all alone...like God is silent, distant, or doesn't care.

Choosing joy may simply come down to where your focus lies.  Are you focused on you, what you should get, didn't get, want to have, "need" to experience, desire for yourself or your family...?  Or is your focus on Christ --  His holiness, His power, His grace, His ability to do immeasureably more than we could ask for or imagine...?  It's probably safe for me to say (about myself) that selfishness is what gets in the way of my joy more often than not.

I don't see myself ever getting a tattoo...I suppose I feel a little like God already gave me all the permanent marks he wants me to have on my body...but the bigger issue is probably that I have a hard time thinking of something I would want for-EVER nor can I identify a part of my body that I want altered for-EVER.  That said -- I did come across this tattoo and found it both neat and appropriate for today's blog :)



Recently, I've begun setting aside larger chunks of time for intentional prayer each morning and instead of presenting my grocery list of requests for God...I've shifted my focus to prayers of thanks for all I am blessed with and all He has given me.  It's a special time each day now to just sit in His presence and soak up the abundance in my life...

So back to my question for this blog post - how do YOU choose joy?  :)

Habakkuk 3:18   I will take joy in the God of my salvation

8.14.2013

"Vulgarity is no substitute for Wit"

The above quote by Julian Fellowes makes a great point:
"Vulgarity is no substitute for wit" is true!

You who are parents know how quickly your children pick up on what they hear...and repeat it.  Lately we've been working with the man who is now living with us on this very thing.  He's known no different for decades, but the other day after hearing him let out a string of unnecessary language (mostly to himself and somewhat under his breath) I teasingly suggested he "cast his potty mouth out into the lake next time he goes fishing".

This has opened the door for a couple follow up discussions regarding the way we talk and has given my husband and I a chance to share with him that what comes out of his mouth -- is a reflection of what's in his heart.

I came across this blog posting and wanted to share -- it hits on some of the very things we've been discussing at our house.  Language and what language we tolerate is just one more thing that I feel Christians are becoming complacent about.  It seems like many have adopted the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality which saddens me.

Disclaimer:  In no way is this blog post meant to imply that I've never had a slip of the tongue or don't ever say things I shouldn't but I think it's important to reflect on the reality behind trying to eliminate those from our lives.

This is a quick read -- but great if you're one who needs to push the "reset" button for your brain, and mouth :)

Original author is noted below.
8:28AM EDT 7/31/2013 J. LEE GRADY
 
woman-covering
I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing.
I lived a sheltered life growing up. My Christian parents allowed me to watch a re-release of Gone With the Wind at the local theater when I was 12, and my virgin ears were scandalized when Rhett Butler told Scarlett, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I had never heard such language—and I knew that if I ever talked like Rhett Butler in my house, I would be sent to the backyard to choose my own switch.
Fast-forward to today, when profanity has so saturated our culture that dirty words are unavoidable. Dropping the F-bomb is a daily habit for millions of Americans. Jesse Sheidlower, the editor-at-large of the Oxford English Dictionary, says the F-word has lost its shock value. He says, “For most people, it’s hardly noticeable anymore.”
Today students wear “WTF?” T-shirts to school. I’ve seen the F-word indelibly tattooed on people’s arms in dark blue ink. And I’ve heard guys and girls alike use the F-word more than 15 times in a sentence to simply describe their day. There’s even a mock children’s book titled Go the F*** to Sleep that was one of the fastest-selling titles on Amazon in 2011. What’s going on here?
Music has certainly played a role in forcing the F-word on us. (Listen if you dare to any popular hip-hop artist for proof of this nastiness.) One song by the rock band Limp Bizkit a few years ago featured the F-word 50 times. American rapper CeeLo Green released a song in 2010 called F*** You, and it was nominated for a Grammy Award. Meanwhile, the Motion Picture Association of America recently relaxed its ratings code to allow more uses of the F-word in PG-13 movies. (The old rule only allowed one F-bomb per film.)
I’m not going on a crusade to wash out our nation’s potty mouth. We live in a free country. And besides, I don’t expect non-Christians to talk like Sunday school teachers. But at the risk of sounding like a prude, I think true believers need to be reminded that it’s not okay to talk trash. This certainly goes for preachers—no matter how young and trendy they are.
I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing. But it was only inevitable, since many popular preachers have emphasized greasy grace while overlooking our serious lack of discipleship. The underlying message these days is: “Don’t be religious or legalistic. We have to be relevant to the culture.” The implied meaning is: “Go ahead and talk dirty. God doesn’t care. Maybe when non-Christians hear you swearing, they won’t label you a religious nut.” I’m not buying that line for three reasons:
1. Filthy talk defiles you and those around you. Jesus said it is not what goes into the mouth of a person that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth (Matt. 15:11). Then the apostle Paul wrote, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths” (Eph. 4:29, ESV). The word corrupting here refers to rotten fruit or rancid fish. Filthy talk stinks! Dirty words have the power to soil you—and the rancid odor will linger in your soul.
2. Obscene or crude language is a reflection of your inner character. British preacher Charles Spurgeon once said, “Beware of everyone who swears: he who would blaspheme his Maker would make no bones of lying or stealing.” Ephesians 5:4 says filthy talk or crude joking are not “befitting” a Christian (ASV). The NIV translates it this way: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place.” If a Christian defiantly insists on talking trash, he has revealed deeper flaws and can’t be trusted.
3. Rough language is a sign of an unsurrendered will. The psalmist wrote, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Ps. 141:3, ESV). Mature Christians invite the Holy Spirit to inspect every area of their lives: attitudes, thoughts, grudges and addictions—as well as coarse language. If you insist on holding on to carnal habits, you are quenching the Spirit’s fire. Your spiritual growth will be forever stunted.
The prophet Isaiah recognized that he was “a man of unclean lips” who lived among “a people of unclean lips” (Is. 6:5). After his repentance, an angel touched his lips with the hot coal of God’s holiness. We need this miracle today if we want to speak for God.

God wants to use our mouths as channels of His life and blessing, but we will never be His prophets if we talk like the world. Let God clean up your conversation.

8.06.2013

Mom's, soon to be mom's -- just for you! :)

I'm reposting this from a blog called Short Stop.
It's not a blog I follow -- just a post shared on Facebook by a friend...I read it...and knew I should share it with others.

Maybe just because I'm getting a teeny tiny taste of motherhood with our new family member living with us.  How you spend your time, how you plan meals, and buy groceries, and new errands to run, and less alone time with your spouse...these are things I'm adjusting to right now.  I know it's NOT the same as parenting but it's helped me have more sympathy for you who are mom's right now :)

Anyway -- less from me -- and more from this lady.  I hope you find yourselves encouraged.




To Moms of One or Two Childrenby Sarah Short

How do you do it? 

I've never counted, but I imagine the number of times I've been asked that question by Moms with one or two children is somewhere in the hundreds. I have five children, and judging by the look on the tired and weary faces that pose the question, that number seems simply impossible.

How do you do it? 

Those are five loaded words. I suppose because the "it" behind that question is different for everyone. 
  • How do you care for five little people? 
  • How do you operate on little sleep? 
  • How do you keep them safe? 
  • How do you find time to do the laundry? 
  • How do you afford them? 
  • How do you keep from losing your ever-loving mind? 

Mommas of one and two children - I understand every one of these questions. And, I understand just where you're coming from.

There are some things I want you to know about me. About children. About this journey through motherhood that we're both on.
If no one has ever told you... 

1. You are maxed out - emotionally and physically - at the number of children you currently have. When I had my two-month old baby Jack, I sat on the edge of my bed and cried like a toddler who dropped her brand new ice cream cone because I thought my life was over. O-VER! This baby child, my supposed dream come true, wanted to wake up in the middle of the night and feed off of me, and all I wanted was to sleep. Baby "Not What I'd Read" would sleep, sleep, sleep all morning while I did dishes and caught up on laundry, but NOOOOOOO way I was gettin' a nap in the afternoon when all of that was finished.

The first time I went to Target with him, I took so much gear with me (I took my Boppy, people), that after I loaded up the cart with him and my gear, I couldn't buy anything because nothing fit.

I was completely overwhelmed. And, then he grew into a mobile baby and I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again so that while he was ripping everything out of the cabinets, bleeding from the mouth from playing bumper cars with the coffee table, eating the sofa, crawling the stairs to plummet to his demise, and licking the electrical outlets, I could also be barfing.

And, he still didn't sleep.

And, then his brother arrived. Eighteen months after he was born. And, I had no idea how people could possibly care for two children. Who are these LUNATICS who have a ton of children? How on earth am I supposed to nurse a newborn, and keep my maniac toddler from imminent death?

I was maxed out. It was one of the hardest times of my life - caring for one and then eighteen months later, two of them.

Moms of one and two children - You are doing HARD work. It is overwhelming and completely exhausting and figuring it all out is some of the most physically, mentally, emotionally, and heart-wrenching work you will ever do. I know you are maxed out - in every way. And, I tell you this, not as someone who is patting you on the back and looking at you with condescending pity, but as someone who KNOWS how hard you are working and how taxing this season is on you. But, there is hope. It does get easier. Not because a light bulb goes off one day and you figure it all out.

But, because...

2. You will find your wayYour way. Not your Mom's way. Not Granny's way. Not pushy Aunt Bertie's way.

Your way.

What worked for your mom, Granny, and Aunt Bertie may simply not work for you. I LOVE hearing the wisdom and experiences from the older women in my life, but I HAVE to sift through their advice and experiences and choices to find what really helps me and what doesn't. Not only are children all different, but mothers are different. We tick and tock to different beats - some of us slower and some on hyperspeed, some on schedules and some just wingin' it. (I'm the latter, Lord help me.) As you get to know your children and build your home life, you will find what works for you. You will. And, letting go of the expectations of others is a BIG part of that. Pull what works for you. Respectfully let go of the rest.

This applies to friendships as well. Do you know who my best friends are? The ones that I lean on and trust and cry to and share with? They are my friends who insist, along with me, that there is no one way to do something. I have a very difficult time developing and maintaining friendships with people who have found THE ONE AND ONLY WAY to do something.

"OMG, you gave him PEANUT BUTTER at TEN MONTHS?"
"You don't have a laundry day???"
"Three year-olds should never still be in diapers."

No. We cannot be friends. Not close friends. Not cry on your shoulder friends.

As you find your way, quick-steppin' to a groove with those babies dancin' along with you, I've got some really, really, really good news...

3. It gets easier. If you let God get bigger.

I now have five children. And, I'm maxed out. Totally maxed out. Just like I was when I had one. And two and three and four.

But, mothering is easier for me now than it used to be. For one reason:

I need God more.

I need Him in the morning. At noon. And at night. I need Him to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night. I need Him to calm my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2am. I need Him to keep my children safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes and crossing a parking lot means holding on tight but it also means letting go of "I can do this, I can do this" and trading it for "God, You are with me and You love them, too."

I need Him to help me trade my doing for His doing.

I need His patience.
I need His joy.
I need His love.

You know, I needed God when I had one and two children. But, I had all of this stuff - books and gear and Grannies and know-it-all voices and I had me.

So I flailed about amidst all of that and tried to raise my children in the Land of I Can Do This.

But, God has whittled away all of that other stuff. He's taught me that He loves my children more than I do, and He loves to hear my voice calling out to Him and letting Him fill me with strength and wisdom and love and joy for my children. I don't have it. But, He does.

So, Mommas of one or two littles afoot - when you ask me, "How do you do it?" - I know what you're asking. And, I know what you're feeling and what's behind your eyes and I walked in your shoes and you are doing the HARD, HARD stuff of motherhood.

It is not easier because you "only" have one child. Or two children.

But, as you find your way, and the more you let God be your strength and realize that you cannot in the many ways you think you can, it gets easier.

And, it gets so, so good.