Ever feel overwhelmed? I do...quite often actually. I used to have panic attacks where I would completely shut down. Chest hurts, sweaty, shaky hands, hard to breath, can't catch my breath, need to throw up, dizzy, room is shaky or spinning, voices/sounds are kind of distorted and distant...still need to throw up, still can't breathe kind of panic attacks.
Thankfully, God continues His work in me (and promises He'll be faithful to complete it too!)...and these episodes are far less common than they used to be. I know as I continue to become less, so that He can become more...panic and anxiety continue to lose their grip on me.
Yet every once in a while, the devil succeeds in distracting me. Satan takes great joy in rolling all my responsibilities and obligations, desires, expectations, one after another at my feet in an attempt to trip me up. Interestingly, I remain poised for the most part relying on my own strength and perseverance to jump each hurdle in my path staying very focused and encouraging myself as I go...when all of the sudden...the unexpected darts out, I close my eyes and duck...and then miss the next hurdle. There I am...lying in a heap, scabbed, bruised, angry, discouraged, hurt, broken and usually crying. :)
That crafty devil...wise enough to know that when my focus is on Christ, he doesn't stand a chance, but if he can shift my focus onto myself, convincing me I'm strong enough to go it alone...and keep pouring on the pressure...I won't see it coming when a friend or family member says something hurtful, when misunderstandings happen at work, or when my spouse does something to make me feel rejected.
I think to myself, "How could they say something like that?" or "Why would they feel that way about me?", "What did I do to deserve that?"..."Don't they know what I'm dealing with?". The answer is no, no they don't know, nor do I know what they're going through. Did I stop for 1 second to think about the battles they might be fighting in their own life? What have I done lately to reach out to them and love on them? (Probably nothing because I couldn't take my eyes off my own path and my own hurdles). More important perhaps is, how will I respond? Will I give up, will I quit, will I lash out in self defense, will I choose to become angry and bitter? Probably so...UNLESS I lift my eyes upward and receive His strength and His help. If I allow myself to stand and soak up the mercy and grace that He pours out upon me...and then give Him my burdens as He's asked me to...the result is...FREEDOM. Freedom from the pressure, the stress, the anxiety, the worry, the hurt, etc.
After going through the Bible Study recently with my small group, "The Invisible War" -- I'm less ignorant to the devil's ways. Yes we know that for those of us in Christ the battle has been won...but let us not think the devil doesn't continue to be a thorn in our side. What does he love the most -- using us against each other! A hurtful word, unforgiveness harbored, thoughts of contempt when we don't agree on something, lukewarm commitment, selfishness, and the list goes on.
So this morning...God patiently reminded me ONCE AGAIN the He is my help, He is my strength and I pray this for each of you and the battles in your own lives.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
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