Beautiful is...both of those!
I went from blogging about health and fitness last week (relatively easy things for me to be passionate about/get people to read about) to...the OPPOSITE! To the attributes I struggle with daily myself, to these 2 words that get scoffed at by most of our society, to this concept that is going to be MUCH harder to share about! :)
But God is truth and His word addresses over and over how important it is for wives to submit to and respect our husbands. I don't know why/when submitting to and respecting our husbands became such an awful/insulting thing. Let's first clarify what this is NOT and disspell some of the misguided and misunderstood lies on this topic.
Submitting does not mean we have no thoughts of our own, that we don't have input in any area of our marriage or family, that we can't contribute to discussions and decisions, and it certainly doesn't mean we are some helpless female cowering in the corners of our own home or that we wander aimlessly about doing only what we're told, when we're told. Sadly, I know there are men who try to achieve this kind of control and view the above examples as acceptable...this is not what God intended in His word and it's NOT what I'm referencing here.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as you are to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior.
That's HUGE! One thing about a submissive wife is that she does it voluntarily out of love for her husband, but more than that, out of love and obedience to Christ! We as Christians submit to Christ - we recognize all that He has done for us...and we're overwhelmed, humbled, and surrender our lives, our will, etc to Christ's. So when Ephesians says the relationship from husband to wife is like that of Christ to the church...why is it so much harder for us then!? God gives husbands an ENORMOUS job and an overwhelming responsibility to provide for his wife and children, to protect them no matter what, to give up his own life if necessary, and to die to himself day in and day out for the sake of his family...God didn't cut husbands any slack!
I think in my own life about HARD decisions I've had to make - the worst are the ones that I think are going to upset someone, or cause them hurt or pain, that might break their heart or create distance between us...even if I KNOW it's what is best - it's still difficult and that's when those people are just friends or coworkers, they aren't my spouse, my OTHER half...they aren't my offspring. Think of how our husbands must feel every time they have to make a decision that might hurt or upset us. Sheesh - no thanks!
My dear friend once shared with me some very wise words. This was shortly after I got married and I was frustrated about Justin and I's situation at home. We were remodeling a small home and he was insistent upon doing it without loans/debt AND making sure we got out of the pre-marriage debt we each had before we furnished the home with furniture, a TV etc. I was desperate for some cheap, used furniture from Craigslist or somewhere but he very much wanted us to simply wait, be patient, grow together during our time of sacrifice, and then...go pick out brand new furniture when we were debt free and could pay cash for it! Day after day I pushed him, sending him one furniture ad after another and little did I know...I was crushing him. I was making him feel like a failure of a husband. I was saying to him that what he was trying to do for me/for us wasn't good enough, that I was better and happier without him when I could do whatever I wanted, that I didn't want to wait and struggle with him for a few months so that we could celebrate together...I wanted what I wanted, and I wanted it NOW! AND, that I would take less, I would take used furniture and I'd rather have that than trust him and wait to pick out new furniture together. I thought it was soooo terrible that I couldn't have people over to our house, that we didn't have a place to sit down - but you know what - it was temporary, and it was the right thing to do! Starting out our marriage by getting debt free was life changing! Debt and money problems are one of the greatest threats to marriages today and we'll never face that, we'll never let loans have that power over us because from day 1 we committed (and by we, I mean He committed, while I fought him and challenged him daily) to remove that temptation/threat from our life and start our marriage by living within our means and honoring God with our finances!
Are you still wondering about the wise words from my dear friend!? (I hadn't forgotten) :)
She said, "Learning to submit to your husband is HARD! But you know what, learning to be a husband and to be the head of a household is hard too! Husbands don't just automatically know how to do it the minute the wedding is over - our husbands aren't any more perfect than we are, they're just given and called to a much greater responsibility...and so sometimes, they're gonna drop the ball. As wives, we have to let them drop the ball...we have to help them pick the ball up and reassure them that even when they drop that ball RIGHT on our toes (which hurts REAL bad)...that we're not going anywhere and that we're going to love them anyway. Wives have to let their husbands know that we aren't going to stop respecting them just because they aren't perfect, or anytime they make a mistake, or make a decision that isn't easy for us."
I'm not proud of the above story I shared, and I'm ALSO not implying that I'm cured of all submissiveness or respect issues from that one situation! :) :) But I have come to understand that when Justin makes decisions I don't agree with or that hurt/sting a little for me...I know and trust that it's NOT fun for him, that he doesn't LIKE or ENJOY making those decisions and that the only reason he would do it, is if he felt like that's what God wanted or that it's what's best for us. I've also come to understand that I don't want that job, that pressure, or that responsibility.
Think of some beautiful Christian women in your life...someone who is an example of the kind of wife you strive to be. I bet a common characteristic is that they are respectful of their husbands...and I also bet their husband's aren't ANY more perfect than your own! ;) ;)
As Christian women, we need to start taking our husbands' side and showing the world that we love our men and that we don't need to SAY it as much as we need to SHOW it by respecting them, and submitting to them. You show me a husband who's madly in love with his wife and thinks she's the sexiest most beautiful thing God's ever created...and I'll show you a wife who works diligently to respect and submit as God commanded her to!
Lastly - just as committing to live debt free and studying Dave Ramsey's approach was life changing for us, so too, is the Love and Respect series. The DVD/Videos are profoundly eye opening and I recommend those even more than the book. Below is a little quote/picture I have to remind myself of the significance of this topic. Put it where you can see, and write it on your heart daily!
No comments:
Post a Comment