Dear Moms (And Those Who Long to Be): An Important Mother's Day Message

Dear moms, have your kids become your idol?

If you're like me, then you're quick to imagine little figurines and Hindu people bowing down to them in worship when you think of the word "idol".  But God clearly addresses us in the ten commandments when with the FIRST one He said, Thou shalt have no other God's before me.  Clearly, idolatry affects Christians then, and is it safe to assume is our biggest downfall if He listed it first!?

An idol is defined as "extreme admiration, love, or reverence for someone or something".
An idol is anything that consumes our thoughts and our energy.
An idol is anything you delight in...more than The Lord.  Whoah!

I assure you this isn't a "pick on mom's" post - I know mom's need encouragement as much as anyone!  My guess is that we all have multiple idols in our life...in fact it's not "if" we have idols, but rather what are our idols?

What about those of you who have tried and longed for months...or even years...to get pregnant and become a mom?  Has that desire completely consumed you?  Do you spend more time and energy thinking about bearing a child than you do reveling in the fact that You are a child of God!?

Our society struggles quite obviously with idols of money, homes, cars, beauty, clothes/fashion, sports, and more.  But there are some idols that are unique to motherhood.  In her post "Idols of a Mothers Heart", Christina Fox identifies these as:

[Affirmation: This can include being affirmed by friends, family, even strangers, that your children are “so well behaved” or “so talented.” Pride then bubbles up in our heart. And when we don’t get those kinds of responses, or receive the opposite, we are discouraged and frustrated. 

Children: Children in and of themselves can become idols. It can start with even the desire to have children. It can become an all-consuming longing, becoming more important in our life than God. Once we have children, they can become idols when we live for them and always try to make them happy. We can seek to find our fulfillment in and through them. 

Success: We want our children to be successful because it is a reflection on us. We may press them endlessly to excel. If our children have limitations in some way, this may shatter our dreams as well. 

Control: Being in control of all the details of life is a big idol for many moms. We spend our days trying to orchestrate every detail of our life and our children’s life. But because nothing is actually in our control, we become anxious, worried, and agitated when things don’t go as planned.]

The phrase "anything we delight in more than The Lord" probably makes it clear for most of us, but if you're still wondering if this is an area you struggle with...here are a few other warning signs...that your kids may be your idol:

1. Do you focus on their happiness first...and their character second?
2. Do you find yourself constantly buying them toys, games, electronics etc. to keep them busy/occupied?
3. Do you consistently forfeit time with your spouse in favor of time with your kids?
4. Is every vacation you plan centered around the kids?  Have you taken a single vacation recently that was for you adults?
5. Do you find yourself utterly exhausted with a schedule filled to the brim of every single activity they could possibly be involved in to ensure they're exposed to as many opportunities as possible?
6. Do you consistently allow them to interrupt your conversations with others, including your spouse?
   (credit: Laura Kuehn, Cornerstone For Parents)

As Mother's Day draws near, know that there are few responsibilities on this earth as important as that of being a mom.  There is perhaps no greater call on one's life...no greater mission than being a parent and raising up children who love and seek after Christ.  But it's easy to forget the appropriate balance and prioritization.  The Bible makes it clear that God should always be #1 in our life, then our spouse #2, and finally our children.  While it is important to make sure your children know how much you love them...it is MORE important that they know how much you love The Lord.

This Mother's Day I hope you are loved and celebrated.  I hope you are doted on and appreciated.  I hope discouragement about the struggles of motherhood are far from your heart, but I also pray that God will open the eyes of your heart if your children have become your idol.

I'll leave you with this a quote I found to be a powerful idol assessment tool.  From Tim Keller and his book, "Reason For God":

If you center your life and identity on your spouse or partner, you will be emotionally dependent, jealous, and controlling. 

If you center your life and identity on your family and children, you will try to live your life through your children until they resent you or have no self of their own. 

If you center your life and identity on your work and career, you will be a driven workaholic and a boring, shallow person. 

If you center your life and identity on money and possessions, you’ll be eaten up by worry or jealousy about money. 

If you center your life and identity on pleasure, gratification, and comfort, you will find yourself getting addicted to something.

 If you center your life and identity on relationships and approval, you will be constantly overly hurt by criticism and thus always losing friends. 

If you center your life and identity on a “noble cause,” you will divide the world into “good” and “bad” and demonize your opponents. 

If you center your life and identity on religion and morality, you will, if you are living up to your moral standards, be proud, self-righteous, and cruel. If you don’t live up to your moral standards, your guilt will be utterly devastating.

Happy Mother's Day!
~Lenay