(Part 2) Beautiful Is...? (that one word we hope I won't address)

Did a word come to mind right away?  Was it...respectful...or submissive? :)
Beautiful is...both of those!
I went from blogging about health and fitness last week (relatively easy things for me to be passionate about/get people to read about) to...the OPPOSITE!  To the attributes I struggle with daily myself, to these 2 words that get scoffed at by most of our society, to this concept that is going to be MUCH harder to share about! :)

But God is truth and His word addresses over and over how important it is for wives to submit to and respect our husbands.  I don't know why/when submitting to and respecting our husbands became such an awful/insulting thing.  Let's first clarify what this is NOT and disspell some of the misguided and misunderstood lies on this topic.

Submitting does not mean we have no thoughts of our own, that we don't have input in any area of our marriage or family, that we can't contribute to discussions and decisions, and it certainly doesn't mean we are some helpless female cowering in the corners of our own home or that we wander aimlessly about doing only what we're told, when we're told.  Sadly, I know there are men who try to achieve this kind of control and view the above examples as acceptable...this is not what God intended in His word and it's NOT what I'm referencing here.

Ephesians 5:22  Wives, be subject to your husbands, as you are to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior.

That's HUGE!  One thing about a submissive wife is that she does it voluntarily out of love for her husband, but more than that, out of love and obedience to Christ!  We as Christians submit to Christ - we recognize all that He has done for us...and we're overwhelmed, humbled, and surrender our lives, our will, etc to Christ's.  So when Ephesians says the relationship from husband to wife is like that of Christ to the church...why is it so much harder for us then!?  God gives husbands an ENORMOUS job and an overwhelming responsibility to provide for his wife and children, to protect them no matter what, to give up his own life if necessary, and to die to himself day in and day out for the sake of his family...God didn't cut husbands any slack!

I think in my own life about HARD decisions I've had to make - the worst are the ones that I think are going to upset someone, or cause them hurt or pain, that might break their heart or create distance between us...even if I KNOW it's what is best - it's still difficult and that's when those people are just friends or coworkers, they aren't my spouse, my OTHER half...they aren't my offspring.  Think of how our husbands must feel every time they have to make a decision that might hurt or upset us.  Sheesh - no thanks!

My dear friend once shared with me some very wise words.  This was shortly after I got married and I was frustrated about Justin and I's situation at home.  We were remodeling a small home and he was insistent upon doing it without loans/debt AND making sure we got out of the pre-marriage debt we each had before we furnished the home with furniture, a TV etc.  I was desperate for some cheap, used furniture from Craigslist or somewhere but he very much wanted us to simply wait, be patient, grow together during our time of sacrifice, and then...go pick out brand new furniture when we were debt free and could pay cash for it!  Day after day I pushed him, sending him one furniture ad after another and little did I know...I was crushing him.  I was making him feel like a failure of  a husband.  I was saying to him that what he was trying to do for me/for us wasn't good enough, that I was better and happier without him when I could do whatever I wanted, that I didn't want to wait and struggle with him for a few months so that we could celebrate together...I wanted what I wanted, and I wanted it NOW!  AND, that I would take less, I would take used furniture and I'd rather have that than trust him and wait to pick out new furniture together.  I thought it was soooo terrible that I couldn't have people over to our house, that we didn't have a place to sit down - but you know what - it was temporary, and it was the right thing to do!  Starting out our marriage by getting debt free was life changing!  Debt and money problems are one of the greatest threats to marriages today and we'll never face that, we'll never let loans have that power over us because from day 1 we committed (and by we, I mean He committed, while I fought him and challenged him daily) to remove that temptation/threat from our life and start our marriage by living within our means and honoring God with our finances!

Are you still wondering about the wise words from my dear friend!?  (I hadn't forgotten) :)
She said, "Learning to submit to your husband is HARD!  But you know what, learning to be a husband and to be the head of a household is hard too!  Husbands don't just automatically know how to do it the minute the wedding is over - our husbands aren't any more perfect than we are, they're just given and called to a much greater responsibility...and so sometimes, they're gonna drop the ball.  As wives, we have to let them drop the ball...we have to help them pick the ball up and reassure them that even when they drop that ball RIGHT on our toes (which hurts REAL bad)...that we're not going anywhere and that we're going to love them anyway.  Wives have to let their husbands know that we aren't going to stop respecting them just because they aren't perfect, or anytime they make a mistake, or make a decision that isn't easy for us."

I'm not proud of the above story I shared, and I'm ALSO not implying that I'm cured of all submissiveness or respect issues from that one situation! :) :)  But I have come to understand that when Justin makes decisions I don't agree with or that hurt/sting a little for me...I know and trust that it's NOT fun for him, that he doesn't LIKE or ENJOY making those decisions and that the only reason he would do it, is if he felt like that's what God wanted or that it's what's best for us.  I've also come to understand that I don't want that job, that pressure, or that responsibility.

Think of some beautiful Christian women in your life...someone who is an example of the kind of wife you strive to be.  I bet a common characteristic is that they are respectful of their husbands...and I also bet their husband's aren't ANY more perfect than your own! ;) ;)

As Christian women, we need to start taking our husbands' side and showing the world that we love our men and that we don't need to SAY it as much as we need to SHOW it by respecting them, and submitting to them.  You show me a husband who's madly in love with his wife and thinks she's the sexiest most beautiful thing God's ever created...and I'll show you a wife who works diligently to respect and submit as God commanded her to!

Lastly - just as committing to live debt free and studying Dave Ramsey's approach was life changing for us, so too, is the Love and Respect series.  The DVD/Videos are profoundly eye opening and I recommend those even more than the book.  Below is a little quote/picture I have to remind myself of the significance of this topic.  Put it where you can see, and write it on your heart daily!

Beautiful Is...?

Beauty...we certainly are bombarded with what beauty looks like on the outside in today's culture.  Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and magazine photoshopped images of perfection flood in front of our faces daily.

2015 - a new year - may have many of us consumed with new workout plans, new diet plans, pills, skin creams, hair styles and more, intended to make ourselves look better, younger, "hotter"...

This Ministry for women...this blog..."Beautifully Broken" is all about how God uses our flaws, our baggage, our stumbles and falls, the scars that are left, etc to reveal His beauty, His grace, His glory to AND through us. :)

Everyone has their own idea of what external beauty looks like - thus the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".  But let's explore the kind of beauty that is FAR less subjective.

Over the next few days/weeks - I'm going to look at what the bible says about Beauty.  I'm going to share my findings believing that we could ALL could use a reminder of this - because the message we get day in and day out in our culture, is VASTLY different from what the Bible tells us - and from what God wants us to remember.

When talking about external beauty, there are a number of features & attributes people might recognize as beautiful: long hair, pronounced cheek bones, full lips, bright eyes, big smile etc.  Just the same, there are a number of attributes in the bible that God tells us are beautiful.  So let's look at those and focus on those which have NOTHING to do with our DNA...:)

Because of all the hype about exercise, weight loss, and diet at the beginning of the new year, let's start there shall we?! :)  (and maybe also because I'm a fitness instructor...)   

• 1 Corinthians 6:19: "Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who live sin you and was given to you by God.  You do not belong to yourself for God bought you with a high price.  So you must honor God with your body."

• Proverbs 31:17:  "She girds herself with strength for her God-given task and makes her arms strong and firm."  

• 1 Timothy 4:8: "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."  

• This same verse from The Message reads:  "Exercise daily in God--no spiritual flabbiness, please!  Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever.   

Is taking care of our bodies and maintaining or striving for a healthy level of fitness good, YES!  And it's important.  If our bodies are God's temple, God's home...then we ought to treat them with respect.  What does that look like?  It means we take care of our heart, lungs, circulatory system etc. with cardiovascular activity.  It means that we keep our skeletal system strong with weights or resistance training.  Neither of these require a gym membership although that obligation may be what some need to remain accountable!  But staying healthy  has NUMEROUS benefits in our lives.  In my own life, physical fitness and regular exercise helped me get off and help me stay off anti-depressants.  I need the stress and anxiety relief that exercise offers and I need the endorphins after a workout that boost my mood! :)  Being healthy and fit makes it possible for us to serve a friend or congregation member when they need help moving and packing the moving van, it helps us keep up with our children (it even helps with pregnancy, labor, and post-partom), it certainly doesn't HINDER our relationship with our husband in the bedroom... (wink, wink).  Did you know that research cites exercise as the primary prevention for 35 chronic diseases!  Everything from stroke and hypertension to osteoarthritis and depression.  
Simply put...a healthy and fit women who takes care of her temple is a beautiful women, but her exercise efforts and goals should be shadowed by her pursuit of Christ.

More than anything, a Christian women who is fit and healthy is beautiful to me because it represents a life of balance (assuming her focus on fitness and health is a balanced, healthy one).  It means she honors the body God gave her, she desires to honor her husband by maintaining a healthy size/shape (which is NOT a 0 or a 2 for ALL of us - so don't take that out of context!), she desires to set a good example for her children and have the energy to enjoy them and the things they like to do, it may even mean that she desires to set a good example for the young women in her sphere who need to see that healthy and fit does NOT always look like the magazine covers would have us believe.

Now a couple points I must also make...women who have a health condition that makes exercise hard, this post is not intended to make you feel discouraged or inadequate, and I'm also not saying if you exercise, you'll NEVER have any health problems or challenges in life...because we all know and acknowledge that things are NOT perfect on this side of heaven.  I recently met my own bout of discouragement this fall after a double knee surgery (my 6th one in total).  I went into the surgery thinking the Dr. would fix my knee pain and I'd be ready to run another half marathon this spring...but came out of the surgery hearing from him that some things were fixed, but that the knee pain I've been feeling is permanent.  There is damage to my knees that is beyond repair and that long distance running isn't a realistic option for me anymore.  It was VERY hard to hear, but it doesn't mean I can't be fit and healthy.  It means only that I can't run half marathons, or 10ks for that matter.  But I CAN swim, I CAN walk, I CAN use an elliptical, I CAN have fun with dance cardio in classes like Zumba, I CAN lift weights...there are many things I CAN do and so I will focus on what I CAN do...and let go of what I can't.

Lastly I want to leave you with the last verse I shared 1 Timothy 4:8, while exercise is good and important - it DOES not trump the importance of God's word, spending time in it, and clinging to it, in fact it pales in comparison.  Our focus on fitness and healthy should never be higher on our priority list than pursuing Christ.  On another day, in a different post I can share about my struggles with over exercising and under eating in my floundering attempt to "control" things in my life and to "work away" the pain that I had experienced.  I see MANY women strive for goals that are both unrealistic and unattainable...or maybe attainable but nearly impossible to MAINTAIN - that is NOT the kind of balance I'm speaking of.  That level of obsessing is NOT the attribute of beauty that the bible steers us towards.

Do you have a healthy woman as an example in your life?  Did you learn this from your own mother or are you trying to set a different example for your own children?

Where Does My Help Come From

Quiet time with this Psalm (121) this morning is just what I needed to keep going today...

Ever feel overwhelmed?  I do...quite often actually.  I used to have panic attacks where I would completely shut down.  Chest hurts, sweaty, shaky hands, hard to breath, can't catch my breath, need to throw up, dizzy, room is shaky or spinning, voices/sounds are kind of distorted and distant...still need to throw up, still can't breathe kind of panic attacks.

Thankfully, God continues His work in me (and promises He'll be faithful to complete it too!)...and these episodes are far less common than they used to be.  I know as I continue to become less, so that He can become more...panic and anxiety continue to lose their grip on me.

Yet every once in a while, the devil succeeds in distracting me.  Satan takes great joy in rolling all my responsibilities and obligations, desires, expectations, one after another at my feet in an attempt to trip me up. Interestingly, I remain poised for the most part relying on my own strength and perseverance to jump each hurdle in my path staying very focused and encouraging myself as I go...when all of the sudden...the unexpected darts out, I close my eyes and duck...and then miss the next hurdle.  There I am...lying in a heap, scabbed, bruised, angry, discouraged, hurt, broken and usually crying. :)

That crafty devil...wise enough to know that when my focus is on Christ, he doesn't stand a chance, but if he can shift my focus onto myself, convincing me I'm strong enough to go it alone...and keep pouring on the pressure...I won't see it coming when a friend or family member says something hurtful, when misunderstandings happen at work, or when my spouse does something to make me feel rejected.

I think to myself, "How could they say something like that?" or "Why would they feel that way about me?", "What did I do to deserve that?"..."Don't they know what I'm dealing with?".  The answer is no, no they don't know, nor do I know what they're going through.  Did I stop for 1 second to think about the battles they might be fighting in their own life?  What have I done lately to reach out to them and love on them? (Probably nothing because I couldn't take my eyes off my own path and my own hurdles).  More important perhaps is, how will I respond?  Will I give up, will I quit, will I lash out in self defense, will I choose to become angry and bitter?  Probably so...UNLESS I lift my eyes upward and receive His strength and His help.  If I allow myself to stand and soak up the mercy and grace that He pours out upon me...and then give Him my burdens as He's asked me to...the result is...FREEDOM.  Freedom from the pressure, the stress, the anxiety, the worry, the hurt, etc.

After going through the Bible Study recently with my small group, "The Invisible War" -- I'm less ignorant to the devil's ways.  Yes we know that for those of us in Christ the battle has been won...but let us not think the devil doesn't continue to be a thorn in our side.  What does he love the most -- using us against each other! A hurtful word, unforgiveness harbored, thoughts of contempt when we don't agree on something, lukewarm commitment, selfishness, and the list goes on.

So this morning...God patiently reminded me ONCE AGAIN the He is my help, He is my strength and I pray this for each of you and the battles in your own lives.

¹  I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

² My help comes from the Lord,

    who made heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot be moved;

    he who keeps you will not slumber.

⁴ Behold, he who keeps Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord is your keeper;

    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,

    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all evil;

    he will keep your life.

⁸ The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in

    from this time forth and forevermore.

How do you choose joy?

No really...how do YOU choose J - O - Y?  :)

Recently, I was part of a group devotion on joy.  There was lots of talking about how joy is different than happiness...
Joy is deeper than happiness, more abundant than pleasures, more exciting than thrills, and richer than excitement...it's long-lasting, never-failing, deeply rooted in our hearts and where there is joy...there is also peace.  (As someone who is anxiety prone, just typing and reading the word peace...makes the tightness in my chest subside...just a little...for just a moment. ;) )

Joy is a condition and attitude of the heart...it's much more than a feeling which is fleeting, flaky, unreliable, and non-committal (feelings come and go).

Where does this unending, unshakable supply of joy come from?  All that comes to mind is that childhood song, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart", "where?", "down in my heart to stay!"

I confess, I have a lot of work to do before I could say that I am a habitual chooser of joy.  But I know that continually pursuing Christ and surrendering my burdens and worries to him is the only way.  Further it's easy enough to be joyful during the happy, trial-free chapters of life...but it takes a great deal more faith to trust Him during the difficult and dark times...when you feel all alone...like God is silent, distant, or doesn't care.

Choosing joy may simply come down to where your focus lies.  Are you focused on you, what you should get, didn't get, want to have, "need" to experience, desire for yourself or your family...?  Or is your focus on Christ --  His holiness, His power, His grace, His ability to do immeasureably more than we could ask for or imagine...?  It's probably safe for me to say (about myself) that selfishness is what gets in the way of my joy more often than not.

I don't see myself ever getting a tattoo...I suppose I feel a little like God already gave me all the permanent marks he wants me to have on my body...but the bigger issue is probably that I have a hard time thinking of something I would want for-EVER nor can I identify a part of my body that I want altered for-EVER.  That said -- I did come across this tattoo and found it both neat and appropriate for today's blog :)



Recently, I've begun setting aside larger chunks of time for intentional prayer each morning and instead of presenting my grocery list of requests for God...I've shifted my focus to prayers of thanks for all I am blessed with and all He has given me.  It's a special time each day now to just sit in His presence and soak up the abundance in my life...

So back to my question for this blog post - how do YOU choose joy?  :)

Habakkuk 3:18   I will take joy in the God of my salvation

"Vulgarity is no substitute for Wit"

The above quote by Julian Fellowes makes a great point:
"Vulgarity is no substitute for wit" is true!

You who are parents know how quickly your children pick up on what they hear...and repeat it.  Lately we've been working with the man who is now living with us on this very thing.  He's known no different for decades, but the other day after hearing him let out a string of unnecessary language (mostly to himself and somewhat under his breath) I teasingly suggested he "cast his potty mouth out into the lake next time he goes fishing".

This has opened the door for a couple follow up discussions regarding the way we talk and has given my husband and I a chance to share with him that what comes out of his mouth -- is a reflection of what's in his heart.

I came across this blog posting and wanted to share -- it hits on some of the very things we've been discussing at our house.  Language and what language we tolerate is just one more thing that I feel Christians are becoming complacent about.  It seems like many have adopted the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality which saddens me.

Disclaimer:  In no way is this blog post meant to imply that I've never had a slip of the tongue or don't ever say things I shouldn't but I think it's important to reflect on the reality behind trying to eliminate those from our lives.

This is a quick read -- but great if you're one who needs to push the "reset" button for your brain, and mouth :)

Original author is noted below.

Why I Don’t Use the F-Word

8:28AM EDT 7/31/2013 J. LEE GRADY

 

I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing.

I lived a sheltered life growing up. My Christian parents allowed me to watch a re-release of Gone With the Wind at the local theater when I was 12, and my virgin ears were scandalized when Rhett Butler told Scarlett, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I had never heard such language—and I knew that if I ever talked like Rhett Butler in my house, I would be sent to the backyard to choose my own switch.

Fast-forward to today, when profanity has so saturated our culture that dirty words are unavoidable. Dropping the F-bomb is a daily habit for millions of Americans. Jesse Sheidlower, the editor-at-large of the Oxford English Dictionary, says the F-word has lost its shock value. He says, “For most people, it’s hardly noticeable anymore.”

Today students wear “WTF?” T-shirts to school. I’ve seen the F-word indelibly tattooed on people’s arms in dark blue ink. And I’ve heard guys and girls alike use the F-word more than 15 times in a sentence to simply describe their day. There’s even a mock children’s book titled Go the F*** to Sleep that was one of the fastest-selling titles on Amazon in 2011. What’s going on here?

Music has certainly played a role in forcing the F-word on us. (Listen if you dare to any popular hip-hop artist for proof of this nastiness.) One song by the rock band Limp Bizkit a few years ago featured the F-word 50 times. American rapper CeeLo Green released a song in 2010 called F*** You, and it was nominated for a Grammy Award. Meanwhile, the Motion Picture Association of America recently relaxed its ratings code to allow more uses of the F-word in PG-13 movies. (The old rule only allowed one F-bomb per film.)

I’m not going on a crusade to wash out our nation’s potty mouth. We live in a free country. And besides, I don’t expect non-Christians to talk like Sunday school teachers. But at the risk of sounding like a prude, I think true believers need to be reminded that it’s not okay to talk trash. This certainly goes for preachers—no matter how young and trendy they are.

I honestly never thought I’d see the day when Christians would justify swearing. But it was only inevitable, since many popular preachers have emphasized greasy grace while overlooking our serious lack of discipleship. The underlying message these days is: “Don’t be religious or legalistic. We have to be relevant to the culture.” The implied meaning is: “Go ahead and talk dirty. God doesn’t care. Maybe when non-Christians hear you swearing, they won’t label you a religious nut.” I’m not buying that line for three reasons:

1. Filthy talk defiles you and those around you. Jesus said it is not what goes into the mouth of a person that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth (Matt. 15:11). Then the apostle Paul wrote, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths” (Eph. 4:29, ESV). The word corrupting here refers to rotten fruit or rancid fish. Filthy talk stinks! Dirty words have the power to soil you—and the rancid odor will linger in your soul.

2. Obscene or crude language is a reflection of your inner character. British preacher Charles Spurgeon once said, “Beware of everyone who swears: he who would blaspheme his Maker would make no bones of lying or stealing.” Ephesians 5:4 says filthy talk or crude joking are not “befitting” a Christian (ASV). The NIV translates it this way: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place.” If a Christian defiantly insists on talking trash, he has revealed deeper flaws and can’t be trusted.

3. Rough language is a sign of an unsurrendered will. The psalmist wrote, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Ps. 141:3, ESV). Mature Christians invite the Holy Spirit to inspect every area of their lives: attitudes, thoughts, grudges and addictions—as well as coarse language. If you insist on holding on to carnal habits, you are quenching the Spirit’s fire. Your spiritual growth will be forever stunted.

The prophet Isaiah recognized that he was “a man of unclean lips” who lived among “a people of unclean lips” (Is. 6:5). After his repentance, an angel touched his lips with the hot coal of God’s holiness. We need this miracle today if we want to speak for God.

God wants to use our mouths as channels of His life and blessing, but we will never be His prophets if we talk like the world. Let God clean up your conversation.

Mom's, soon to be mom's -- just for you! :)

I'm reposting this from a blog called Short Stop.
It's not a blog I follow -- just a post shared on Facebook by a friend...I read it...and knew I should share it with others.

Maybe just because I'm getting a teeny tiny taste of motherhood with our new family member living with us.  How you spend your time, how you plan meals, and buy groceries, and new errands to run, and less alone time with your spouse...these are things I'm adjusting to right now.  I know it's NOT the same as parenting but it's helped me have more sympathy for you who are mom's right now :)

Anyway -- less from me -- and more from this lady.  I hope you find yourselves encouraged.

To Moms of One or Two Childrenby Sarah Short

How do you do it? 

I've never counted, but I imagine the number of times I've been asked that question by Moms with one or two children is somewhere in the hundreds. I have five children, and judging by the look on the tired and weary faces that pose the question, that number seems simply impossible.

How do you do it? 

Those are five loaded words. I suppose because the "it" behind that question is different for everyone. 

• How do you care for five little people? 
• How do you operate on little sleep? 
• How do you keep them safe? 
• How do you find time to do the laundry? 
• How do you afford them? 
• How do you keep from losing your ever-loving mind? 

Mommas of one and two children - I understand every one of these questions. And, I understand just where you're coming from.

There are some things I want you to know about me. About children. About this journey through motherhood that we're both on.

If no one has ever told you... 

1. You are maxed out - emotionally and physically - at the number of children you currently have. When I had my two-month old baby Jack, I sat on the edge of my bed and cried like a toddler who dropped her brand new ice cream cone because I thought my life was over. O-VER! This baby child, my supposed dream come true, wanted to wake up in the middle of the night and feed off of me, and all I wanted was to sleep. Baby "Not What I'd Read" would sleep, sleep, sleep all morning while I did dishes and caught up on laundry, but NOOOOOOO way I was gettin' a nap in the afternoon when all of that was finished.

The first time I went to Target with him, I took so much gear with me (I took my Boppy, people), that after I loaded up the cart with him and my gear, I couldn't buy anything because nothing fit.

I was completely overwhelmed. And, then he grew into a mobile baby and I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again so that while he was ripping everything out of the cabinets, bleeding from the mouth from playing bumper cars with the coffee table, eating the sofa, crawling the stairs to plummet to his demise, and licking the electrical outlets, I could also be barfing.

And, he still didn't sleep.

And, then his brother arrived. Eighteen months after he was born. And, I had no idea how people could possibly care for two children. Who are these LUNATICS who have a ton of children? How on earth am I supposed to nurse a newborn, and keep my maniac toddler from imminent death?

I was maxed out. It was one of the hardest times of my life - caring for one and then eighteen months later, two of them.

Moms of one and two children - You are doing HARD work. It is overwhelming and completely exhausting and figuring it all out is some of the most physically, mentally, emotionally, and heart-wrenching work you will ever do. I know you are maxed out - in every way. And, I tell you this, not as someone who is patting you on the back and looking at you with condescending pity, but as someone who KNOWS how hard you are working and how taxing this season is on you. But, there is hope. It does get easier. Not because a light bulb goes off one day and you figure it all out.

But, because...

2. You will find your way. Your way. Not your Mom's way. Not Granny's way. Not pushy Aunt Bertie's way.

Your way.

What worked for your mom, Granny, and Aunt Bertie may simply not work for you. I LOVE hearing the wisdom and experiences from the older women in my life, but I HAVE to sift through their advice and experiences and choices to find what really helps me and what doesn't. Not only are children all different, but mothers are different. We tick and tock to different beats - some of us slower and some on hyperspeed, some on schedules and some just wingin' it. (I'm the latter, Lord help me.) As you get to know your children and build your home life, you will find what works for you. You will. And, letting go of the expectations of others is a BIG part of that. Pull what works for you. Respectfully let go of the rest.

This applies to friendships as well. Do you know who my best friends are? The ones that I lean on and trust and cry to and share with? They are my friends who insist, along with me, that there is no one way to do something. I have a very difficult time developing and maintaining friendships with people who have found THE ONE AND ONLY WAY to do something.

"OMG, you gave him PEANUT BUTTER at TEN MONTHS?"
"You don't have a laundry day???"
"Three year-olds should never still be in diapers."

No. We cannot be friends. Not close friends. Not cry on your shoulder friends.

As you find your way, quick-steppin' to a groove with those babies dancin' along with you, I've got some really, really, really good news...

3. It gets easier. If you let God get bigger.

I now have five children. And, I'm maxed out. Totally maxed out. Just like I was when I had one. And two and three and four.

But, mothering is easier for me now than it used to be. For one reason:

I need God more.

I need Him in the morning. At noon. And at night. I need Him to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night. I need Him to calm my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2am. I need Him to keep my children safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes and crossing a parking lot means holding on tight but it also means letting go of "I can do this, I can do this" and trading it for "God, You are with me and You love them, too."

I need Him to help me trade my doing for His doing.

I need His patience.
I need His joy.
I need His love.

You know, I needed God when I had one and two children. But, I had all of this stuff - books and gear and Grannies and know-it-all voices and I had me.

So I flailed about amidst all of that and tried to raise my children in the Land of I Can Do This.

But, God has whittled away all of that other stuff. He's taught me that He loves my children more than I do, and He loves to hear my voice calling out to Him and letting Him fill me with strength and wisdom and love and joy for my children. I don't have it. But, He does.

So, Mommas of one or two littles afoot - when you ask me, "How do you do it?" - I know what you're asking. And, I know what you're feeling and what's behind your eyes and I walked in your shoes and you are doing the HARD, HARD stuff of motherhood.

It is not easier because you "only" have one child. Or two children.

But, as you find your way, and the more you let God be your strength and realize that you cannot in the many ways you think you can, it gets easier.

And, it gets so, so good.

Learning To Be The Light

Matthew 5:14-16 
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Many of us our familiar with the references to God's truth and His word being the light...and therefore if we are in Him, then we are also the light of the world.  The word light, and the imagery of it (Christ's light in me and being light to a dark world) always brings about warm/fuzzy feelings for me. :)

But what if being the light is more than just feeling good because I have God in me? What if it's more than just being kind to most people most days...?

My husband and I have been blessed recently with an opportunity each day to BE the light instead of just acting like the light.  What is the difference?  Well for me...the realization came when some full time missionaries from our church were back visiting this past Sunday and they shared that exact challenge...

How do we move away from acting like the light - to actually being the light?

It's fairly easy to "act" like the light -- say an encouraging and uplifting thing or two -- offer to pray for someone (which we may or may not remember to do) -- comments such as "sometime let's....." or "if you need anything at all...let me know" -- remaining patient and pleasant with most everyone we encounter during the day -- maybe even sharing food or money with a homeless person.  Don't get me wrong...these things aren't bad, they're good, and they're wonderful "flickers" of light to those who receive them.  Most of us have the best of intentions and mean well in all of the above.  But BEING the light takes a great deal more commitment and sacrifice...as we're finding out...
BEING the light involves immersing yourself.

If a light flickers briefly in a dark room, or if someone with a flashlight walks in for a few moments but ultimately leaves...the room is still dark, there may have been a glimmer of light, but nothing lasting.

In our current situation, God has put it on our heart to open our home and acreage to a man with very little.
By very little I don't just mean money although that is true in this case, but also very little joy/happiness in his life, very little family, very little ability/understanding, very little support from friends, very little acceptance from society, very little peace, very little knowledge of God/God's love for him...you get the idea.

BEING the light to this man has stretched us tremendously already.  Prior to this past month, as a result of the curriculum "Radical" that we're going through in Sunday School...I've often thought "what does this look like for us God?"  "What would you have us do to radically glorify you?"  Not all of us are called to full time missionary work...that is true...so what can we (Justin and I) do then?  It is true if you listen when God prompts, and if you're patient for Him to show you His doors of opportunity instead of barging through your own plans, agendas, routines, etc. -- He'll use you for something beautiful!

We're learning as much from our new friend as he is from us.  God is using this situation to teach me a great deal of patience, and to show me what a servant's heart REALLY looks like.  Evenings are about helping him complete whatever project he started that day; cooking only meals soft enough for someone with no teeth to eat; giving up couple time on the couch to go fishing; spending time helping him understand that God's forgiveness is greater than anything in his past; learning to share my space and give up our privacy; seeing firsthand that more than 3 changes of clothes and showers with indoor plumbing instead of a garden hose aren't necessities...they're merely luxuries.

My morning prayer time now consists of fervently praying for the patience needed that day, for fewer selfish tendencies in my heart, and that God might supply the right verse, and the right truth at the right time for us to share and discuss.  The minute I feel tired or drained from serving in this way -- I know immediately that I'm doing it in my own strength instead of relying on God's.

Is there a point to today's post?  I'm not sure! :)  I know God has made his point in my own heart...and I pray more of us will see opportunities to BE the light.  I've posted this song before but I'll share again as it's the tune that's humming in my own heart right now.

LEARNIN' TO BE THE LIGHT