Ever Feel Worthless?

Originally posted on May 2, 2011

It seems like a really negative title…I know. But…it’s something I struggle with and the more I reach out to others through ministry, the more I’ve realized that if I struggle with it — then others do to.

There is no one harder on myself than me. It’s a daily struggle and I often catch myself telling myself that I’m stupid or dumb…or letting myself believe that I’m inadequate, a bad cook, a terrible housekeeper…the list goes on. This in itself is an issue and one I need to continue to address…because unhealthy self talk can cloud our ability to see ourselves as God sees us. But there was a time in my life when this struggle was MUCH bigger.

I teetered on the brink of taking my own life…not wanting to live any longer. Feeling as though the pain was simply too much to bare and that everything had been ruined, I had been ruined, there was too much shame and pain in living. I truly felt worthless. Rejected, unloved, unwanted, damaged, ashamed, and like a failure. For many months I would not leave my house. I didn’t want anyone to see me, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was certain they would deem me “worthless” too. Even as I type this it sounds ridiculous but it was my reality. I don’t know every single one of you’s struggles or pains but I know what it’s like to feel worthless. No matter the cause however…this is STILL a lie of the enemy.

EVEN if it’s your choices, your sin, your crime, your addiction that has caused you to see yourself this way — it sill isn’t how God sees us. The enemy is active at the first sign of this struggle and works diligently to fester, nurture, and grow our self-loathing etc. (I know this is getting a little heavy for a Monday)

I heard an analogy on the radio last week and I wanted to share it. EVEN if you’ve heard it before…it’s still a good image and reminder to keep with us.

Think about $100 bill. For some, $100 may not seem like much but for most of us — that’s a sizable amount! Now…what if that $100 was blowing around in a field or laying in a street gutter. Had been walked on, run over, was wrinkled, tattered, even torn perhaps. Let’s say it’s been through the wash machine a few times…had scribbles or things written on it, dog eared corners…you get the point. Is that $100 bill worth any less to us? Would we see it as worthless and leave it!? NO…we would pick it up because there are countless things we could do with $100! An no matter what it’s condition it’s still $100…it doesn’t count as only $50 because it has wrinkles or a tear.

This is a much better picture of how God sees us. He doesn’t count every wrinkle and imperfection and deduct from our worth — we are all PRICELESS to him. So priceless that while we were YET SINNERS he sent his son to die for us! Not one of us can say we’re “worthy” of the gift…but he can say that we’re all WORTH IT.

Each time you see ANY dollar bill no matter how much it’s worth — I hope you’ll notice the imperfections and remind yourself that it’s worth every bit as much no matter what — and that God longs to restore you and fill your thoughts with things of HIM not of the lies the enemy tells us.